i should be sleeping…
1.
it so bizarre to see that the last time i posted was january.
on that day when the cameras came to film our rehearsal.
in many ways thats right when the madness began.
2.
i can’t describe here what has happened between then and now.
but thank god i’ve been taking notes.
one day i will write it all down.
Heidi said all this we are going through now is probably best
looked back on rather than experienced. Because there is no way we can
possibly grasp it all in real time. That is the wisest thing that anyone has ever said
about what we’re going through. Most people say: “enjoy it while it’s happening.”
That’s bullshit. I guess when you sky dive for the 80th time you probably can “enjoy it while its happening.”
But the first 79 times i’d just be thinking: “whoa shit, i’m skydiving. I’m crazy.”
3.
i’ve been operating under the radar for my entire career.
and enjoying it.
i’ve never tried to write a top 40 melody or carve out a lyric
that i thought would be easy for lots of people to understand.
i’ve always tried to write only what i would like to hear.
not what i thought you wanted to hear.
i wanted to write the song that nobody else was writing.
i never thought goodness or greatness had anything to do with mass appeal.
which is why it’s so lost twilight zone episode #527 that i am now, after 30 years of
being underground and loving it, now living in a world (albeit temporarily) where mass appeal
is the name of the game.
i’m not comfortable with it.
4.
don’t get me wrong:
when we (band/actors) are doing our thing: creating in real time, grooving, communing,
stretching and connecting i feel like broadway is a really cool job.
but when we are doing all of the above
and not getting back that call and response love
that comes so easily in the club
i, because i am not an actor, can sometimes get a little testy.
my punk rock club-rat instinct comes out
and it can be somewhat unsightly
as such behavior is decidely inappropriate for broadway
and has nothing to do with the great white way
entertainer’s credo that seems to be
“please love me, i am desperately trying to entertain you
as i look skyward and sing mock sincerely
like some pathetic dork that you’d run screaming from after 2 minutes
if they behaved like this in real life…”
5.
the weird thing here is that we are not pretending to play
rock music nor are we pretending to be rock musicians:
we really are rock musicians.
and that means sometimes the aggression that comes with playing that music
and being that real person has to come out. And sometimes it feels as absurd as being
a Shakesperean actor going into CBGS and saying: “ok everybody, shut the fuck up while i
rock some Hamlet monologues.” Actually, come to think of it, i’ve known some rock audiences that were
cool enough to handle that. If it was mixed with the appropriate amount of bass.
6.
tonight i got aggressive at the end of the show because i felt the crowd was unresponsive and kinda dead
throughout the entire show. But afterwards every single person who came backstage or who i met
waiting outside said that the crowd was actually quite stunned and moved and that they were just taking it
all in. And there is alot to take in. There’s about a million more things to take in in this play than in your
average broadway musical. All the musicals i’ve seen are pretty simple. I don’t mean that as a diss. I just mean you could understand them even if you were deaf and couldn’t read lips. But my point is I ended up feeling bad about having gotten so pissy once I learned that the crowd actually dug the show. I guess the standing ovation should have been a tip off.
7.
performing in a rock club is like making love: you know how good yer doing every second.
but if a lover responds to your kissing like a cold fish but then afterwards
gives you a standing ovation, what does that mean? I guess they could say “There was alot
to take in.”
esq68 wrote:
Funny - I was at the show last night. I am pretty shocked by your perceptions. Maybe even insulted. I was completely blown away by the show and overwhelmed by my own reaction. I guess that’s why I even came across this blog today as I was genuinely interested in finding out more about the incredible talent and ‘real’ people on that stage last night.
Not that it matters, but i’ll add that i am about to reach 40 yrs., a life-long ny’er, a lesbian in a 9 yr. long relationship and I’ve been running from or avoiding who I am by throwing myself into my work as a trial lawyer representing defendants in civil litigation, such as drug companies. I got here by fear — fear of continuing on a path I found early on — hanging out in the streets of NYC, partying hard and working hard on various human rights issues, such as womens’ health and on the successful campaign to have the U.N. recognize rape as a war crime.
I got scared, I betrayed myself and ran into the safety of convention in a post-conventional way.
The performance drove me inward and I cried to my partner like a child last night. The power, energy and rawness of the show for me was akin to driving a 100 miles an hour into a brick wall. I’ve known for a while that I can no longer mask all the pain, run from myself or find something in nothing. I have struggled for a long time, and the void can’t be filled with the bs of my reality.
So yeah, it was a lot to take in. I did. It meant something to me as I have found words to attach to some very real issues.
Based on your comments, I presume you may believe that I’m just an asshole -undeserving to take anything away from the show or maybe you think I missed the entire point and blow it off b/c why would some comformist like me get anything, anyway. Afterall, I’m just a sell-out and I was part of the audience that you felt didn’t give back to you or respond in a way you expect.
If you haven’t noticed, you are now performing down the block from Disney dribble and other various pablum. Your show adds another dimension and is a vital respite.
You may want to try to cut some of us a break. Not only is the show aboveground - it’s on Broadway. And to expect something real as opposed to something selling itself as real, is indeed alot to take in.
Or maybe it’s not that at all - that would be disappointing.
warm regards…
Posted on 10-May-08 at 12:31 pm | Permalink
Joe Crawford wrote:
about “one day i will write it all down.”
stew, it feels like i’ve been a fan of yours forever now, and i find the newfound mainstreaming of your peculiarity, quixotic, wonderful art to be profoundly incredible but inevitable. you tap into something really amazing and your fame is great.
i wonder about the “quiet” audiences — i wonder if there’s a way to let ‘em know — hey kids, feel free to dance in the aisles, feel free to holler amen, and show us how you feel. maybe dangerous, but it might be a way to open the conversations on those nights. i dunno.
then again, maybe it’s just fine, and it’s something for you to learn about how broadway works for passing strange. it’s just this odd thing.
two great regrets of my life is that i never saw “the negro problem” as an entity (just the cover problem) and i’ll probably not see passing strange on broadway due to my own cash constraints.
but i remain a fan, and look forward to your work. and more? i know i’m not alone. not by a longshot.
godspeed passing strange!!!!
Posted on 10-May-08 at 8:22 pm | Permalink
slotz wrote:
It can be extremely unnerving for an actor to have a demonstrative audience on one night, and a silent but appreciative audience the next night. The former shoots the actor full of real-time feelgood: emotional crack. The latter makes him wait for the rush, and when it’s not there, he starts jonesing. It has to be grokked and overcome. Every actor knows this.
Let’s notice that Stew said he felt bad about getting pissy, so maybe he’s still adjusting to theatrical audiences as opposed to club ones. Let’s all give one another a huge break, and a hug besides.
Posted on 11-May-08 at 9:14 am | Permalink
ArtLung Blog · Misc, Art, Mother’s Day wrote:
[…] My hero stew blogged today! He doesn’t blog very often, but he, and his latest project, a broadway play called Passing Strange are getting a whole lot of attention these days. For one thing, it’s been running for a while now, and some real strange stuff has been happening. From way over here in California it feels like this—first Spike Lee showed up, and next it was that First it was on April 17th, Whoopi Goldberg wore the Passing Strange sweatshirt on The View. […]
Posted on 11-May-08 at 10:29 am | Permalink
Barbara from Phila. wrote:
Stew and Crew,
Just saw your fantastic play/rock thang, “Passing Strange,” with a friend of mine, and we both had a great time and loved it! Each cast member and the musicians were perfect. Watching your production tonight was some of the best hours I’ve spent in my life, and I’m 51 and have done much. Thank you for your art and imagination!
Posted on 11-May-08 at 7:57 pm | Permalink
ex Pavlov's dog wrote:
Seems like it’s hard for audiences to give up their conditioning.. Responding with the group at the end is SAFE.. not REAL. I saw the show and “Amen”ed,shouted & laughed alone at times but of course it was “All Right” BRAVO
Posted on 12-May-08 at 11:45 am | Permalink
Amy wrote:
Stew,
I wouldn’t be freaked if there isn’t a lot of feedback during the show, but your show is also more fun when people get into it - the nights that the place is insane are my favorite.
Posted on 12-May-08 at 1:38 pm | Permalink
Warren wrote:
I have been watching the progress of “Passing Strange” from my little burg of Sacramento with growing sense of awe. I am so completely kicking myself for not coming to Berkeley when you were trying it out. But reading the news today about the Tony nominations and seeing the clip from “The View” … yeah, considering last time I saw you was in a coffeehouse with about 30 people watching I could see where you might think it kinda weird. Good on you two anyway …
Posted on 13-May-08 at 10:34 pm | Permalink