Alfreeda dreams that she is a band
The wary travelers haul ass howling cross this grating country of yours from LA to NYC hooded strangers sing to me in the parking lot of the Walmart in the Ozarks the peak of American civilization clearly while
Agent Eat My Dust enters “I’ll cover you” I say once inside she spies spontaneously crying female cashiers and customers who have just sent their men off to war the reality and horror of it just hitting them finally right now as they stand in line paying for the diapers one t-shirt reads “If you mess with the USA you better be prepared for a good ass kickin” this would be a great place to do a show I think we’d all learn something couple of kids drive up in a white beat up 70’s type automobile he looks about 12 and she looks about 14 and is pregnant bumper sticker says, “If I lived here I wouldn’t be home now” (potential fan)
so we head up north a piece meet with St Louis contact Agent Upping at mid-west party headquarters which uses bbq joint as front he gives us top secret files to peruse but our hands are too greasy to hold important stuff we get an inside peek at the latest techniques in instant cloning he shows us a picture of himself protesting the war in SF while simultaneously giving a tour of Billy Gadfly’s home in St Louis, Gadfly being a baseball player who wrote poetry exclusively about moths with lisps. Upping also gives tours of places in St. Louis where TS Eliot did not sleep.
Once in NYC we meet all clandestine-like in an east village cellar with the other agents. Em Ewe, from the peepholes republic of KY, Peckering McGreckering aus Ferndale and our mole on the lowereastside known only as The Bell.
Mission: to steal the guitar that Abraham Lincoln wrote “send in the clowns” on. We know its in a vault somewhere in Graham Central Station so we head there Security Guard checks for bombs under our vehicle but he doesn’t know that we all have certificates and degrees we received thru the mail via matchbooks covers and that we are ALL CERTIFIED ROCK CRITICS and when he says “What can I do for y’all” we reply in unison “I HAD A VINYL COPY OF “OAR” BEFORE MOJO EVER SAID SHIT ABOUT IT DAMMIT – LEMME IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER BEFORE I HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY COLLECTION OF TROJAN 45’s!!!”
Blown thoroughly away by our studly collectorgeekungfu he immediately waves us on. The guitar turns out to be in great shape and has a little note inside of it from Frederick Douglas, which reads “Hey cabin boy, GET REAL! Sincerely, La Frederick ps: you can run but you can’t hide from your true self.”